diren's philtatos

I don't know how to start. It's weird really - feeling as if you have so much and nothing to say at the same time. Just yesterday I passed all the places in which we used to spend so much time together. Where I told you my biggest secrets and you told me yours. If I could turn back time ... I wouldn't. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. The thing is, I am not the same as I was before and you have changed, too. You have changed so much, I don't think there's anything left from my former best friend. It just saddens me to think how quickly everything can change. Losing you wasn't difficult because you were hurtful and toxic and not meant to stay. But if lost you - you whom I was so certain of would stay - then who else can I lose? And I didn't only lose you, but I also lost him and while I've long gotten over you, I still haven't gotten over him and perhaps never will. He still poisons my dreams, the loss of him haunts me a

So. I did some writing, I guess. It is very incoherent and just me rambling, really. I do quite like the first one. I'm currently reading »The Secret History« by Donna Tartt and the influences should be very obvious.  I am probably not the right person to tell this story. From the beginning to the end, I can merely be described as a minor side character and even now, looking back, I cannot say that I have fully understood what had happened to Hanna Grace that winter. Still, I will try to explain my impressions as clearly as possible. Despite being not the right person to tell this story, I guess I am the only one left.  The thing is, even now, after so much time has passed by, no one knows for sure who really had killed Hanna. It could have been anyone. Personally, I still believe it was Audree. But as I said — one cannot be sure. One might wonder why I have come to talk about this now, now that it is much too late, now that it has been ages since we all have seen or hea